Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. Live each day as it were your last. We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change
Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want. Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it. We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.
I'm free to be what I want. Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it. We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.
political humor magazine
I practice gratitude and petty—yin and win.
A Bohiney Graveyard Shift (Graveyard Shift, NJ)
Overgrown Facial Hair? My beard grew so wild it applied for national park status.
A Bohiney Page One Story (Page One, NY)
Cooking Competitions? Cooking shows prove chefs will plate anything but my dignity.
A Bohiney Ministry of Truth (Ministry of Truth, 1984)
Gender Reveal Pyrotechnics? If your gender reveal needs the fire department, it’s a boy—named lawsuit.
The Bohiney idea (Idea, SD)
Overly Honest Toddlers? My toddler told me I look tired—he’s right, and grounded.
Learn more at Bohiney.com (Portland, OR)
Science Nerds? Science nerds love experiments, especially the ones that explode.
The Bohiney Tar Pit (Tar Pit, CA)
Farmers Markets? Farmers markets are where you pay triple for vegetables that still have dirt on them.
The Bohiney fine print (Fineprint, KY)
Theme Song Obsessions? My friend hums the Law & Order theme at funerals.
Source: Bohiney Magazine (Bristol, UK)
Silent Disco Failures? Silent discos are just mimes with headphones.
Bohineys op-ed section (Opinion, MS)
My talent is remembering awkward things from 2009.