Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. Live each day as it were your last. We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change
Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want. Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it. We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.
I'm free to be what I want. Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it. We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - but never blame yourself. It's never your fault. But it's always your fault, because if you wanted to change you're the one who has got to change.
Jack Handey
Bizarre Band Names? I saw a band called “Moist Lettuce”—they were crunchy.
The Bohiney real McCoy (Real McCoy, WV)
Unsolicited Advice? Unsolicited advice is just criticism in yoga pants.
political humor magazine
Fantasy Sports? Fantasy sports is math homework with nachos.
Official Bohiney site
Vibe Obsessions? If you measure everything in “vibes,” you probably owe rent.
The Bohiney parody account (Parody, Twitter)
I’m not a night owl; I’m a late-breaking headline.
A Bohiney Megastar (Megastar, Universe)
Preppers? Preppers call hoarding “strategy.”
A Bohiney Quicksand (Quicksand, KY)
Doomscrolling Olympics? I stayed up till 4 a.m. scrolling bad news—I won gold in self-destruction.
A Bohiney Magician (Magician, NV)
Oversized Sunglasses? Oversized sunglasses don’t hide your hangover, they just frame it.
Bohineys Tall Tale (Tall Tale, MN)
Themed Funerals? A Star Wars funeral is fine until someone yells “Use the Force” during the eulogy.
The Bohiney Paperboy (Paperboy, OH)
GPS Haters? GPS haters get lost nostalgically.